Presents! Among Other Things

This is actually sort of a catch-up post for the last few months. We have had a chance to explore our neighborhood a little more and also do some sight-seeing.

First up, PRESENTS. OK, so I was definitely baffled in our orientation class by all the ritual that goes along with present-giving here. It seemed frightfully easy to become involved in an endless back-and-forth present-giving game, so I tried really hard to understand the rules. I brought presents to the neighbors when we moved in, but I made sure they weren't too big - just some chocolates I got at the NEX. That seemed to go over well. Some of the neighbors gave us small things back, but also not a big deal. I didn't think I needed to reciprocate again. Some of the neighbors have also given the boys gifts from time to time, but I feel that is not something I have to give something back for. They are usually things like fruit that is in season or candy on Halloween...

So anyway, I thought I had sort of reached a place of stasis so that I could just say "hi" to the neighbors and not worry about it. But lately weird things have been happening! I am at a complete loss again!!!

For starters, one of the neighbors randomly hands us canned coffee from the vending machine now and then. This is a vending machine that is at the end of our driveway, so I can get to it quite easily. But now and then I will walk out of my house and she will walk up and hand me 2 or 3 cans. OK?

Then, a few weeks ago, Adam and I decided to try the sushi place next door to us. The place was empty, which was weird (we were wondering if it might be a front for the Yakuza), but we had some great sushi:

After we ate, the chef/owners, a husband and wife, tried to talk to us a bit. They spoke no English, so we were using our best (awful) Japanese and our translator apps on our phones. It was amicable, and we were all getting our points across in one way or another. All of a sudden, as we are talking, the wife starts bringing us things. She even brought a nice bag out and loaded it up for us. Here is what we walked out with:

Um, bacon?

And some kind of pound cake with red beans on the bottom. But it wasn't just a pound cake. It was wrapped up in a pretty box that took about an hour to get into:

What in the world? We had no idea what to do. We actually left before we intended to because we were afraid if we stayed any longer she would start giving us more and more gifts.

Anyway, that has been a conundrum lately. I guess we should start giving out presents again. Then maybe we will be in the clear for awhile? Who knows! The whole thing has become a bit strange!

Next up, some sight-seeing. We got to go on a day trip to Hakone, which is a mountain area with natural hot springs. Japanese people looooove their hot springs, and now I know why. It can be SO cold here, and none of the houses are heated. Well, none of them have insulation, and they use space heaters and kerosene heaters to heat one room at a time, but it is seriously cold. All the time. Now I understand the draw of sitting in boiling hot water for long periods of time in the dead of winter. It's a chance to warm up, finally! Anyway, we want to go back when we can stay in one of the hotels and do the full-on baths, but this was just a short outing so there was some feet-dipping, but nothing more.

I will spare you most of the pretty mountain photos, but what you should see is this: the hot springs there are hot enough to boil eggs, but the eggs turn black because of the minerals in the water. Supposedly you will add 7 years to your life if you eat one, so of course we had to do just that. It was pretty special:

OK, maybe just one pretty mountain shot with hot springs steaming up. This really was a beautiful area of Japan, and I hope to be able to go back:

And here are the 4 of us, freezing our butts off, about to go look at a shrine:

Year in Review

This post has nothing to do with living in Japan! It's my year in review. I decided to take stock in survey form, so here it is. Enjoy or skip it!

1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?

Moved to Japan

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

Yes and no. I resolved to stop biting my nails, as usual. FAIL! (I really don’t think I will ever kick this habit. Do we even need to talk about the fact that Anthony already bites his? OY.) (Also, I am currently biting my nails as I write this, even though I vowed again to stop this year. Yeah.) However, I also resolved to stop being a doormat, once and for all, and I think I succeeded. I must admit that part of my strategy involves being evasive and passive-aggressive, but it’s better than getting sucked into other people's drama and bossiness.

3. Did anyone close to you become a parent?

No, but Ross is going to become one this year, and that makes me excited and also want to die simultaneously.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No.

5. What countries did you visit?

Canada, although that hardly counts. And Japan, extended visit!

However, I also got to travel a ton this year, all of which was amazing. Road trip from Washington to Louisiana, a weekend trip to San Francisco, and a crazy excursion to Lummi Island, Washington, in April, where we got to stay in a ridiculous hotel and eat the most amazing meal I've ever had. http://www.willows-inn.com/

6. What would you like to have in 2013 that you lacked in 2012?

Day-to-day stability.

7. What dates from 2012 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

The day we left Oak Harbor (June 22); the day we left Baton Rouge (September 7); December 14th.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Keeping my shit together for a month in the Navy Lodge. That doesn’t sound like much when I see it there, written down, but it was hard.

9. What was your biggest failure?

I feel like I failed left and right at parenting last year. Disaster, from start to finish. My kids are lunatics, and I'm pretty sure it's my fault. Yay, mommyhood!

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

No.

11. What were the best things you bought?

Rain boots, nespresso machine

12. Whose behavior warranted celebration?

A friend who has been dealt a shitty hand of cards but is handling it with grace and humor.

 

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Young navy sailors who do stupid shit in Japan that make us all have curfews and not be allowed to drink after 8 PM outside of our homes. Get your shit together, people!

14. Where did most of your money go?

I honestly think most of it went towards all the traveling and moving, which is just sort of to be expected.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Finally, at long last, moving into our place here in Japan after months and months of upheaval.

16. What song will always remind you of 2012?

"Home" (Edward Sharpe) - I know this didn't come out on 2012, but it has definitely been on repeat for me during this massive move.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

a) happier or sadder? happier

b) thinner or fatter? thinner (but not by much... working on it)

c) richer or poorer? same

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Spending time by myself

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Caring what people think

20. How did you spend Christmas?

With immediate family at home. It was great because Adam was off for 3 days in a row. A lovely, do-nothing kind of weekend.

21. Did you fall in love in 2011?

No. Unless you count Joshua Jackson on Fringe. AGG!

22. What was your favorite TV program?

Fringe (WHY WHY WHY is it ending?! I am already depressed about this!)

Last Resort (don’t judge me)

Parks and Recreation (still amazingly funny)

So You Think You Can Dance (yesterday, today, and tomorrow)

24. What was the best book you read?

The Wednesday Wars (Gary D. Schmidt)

Revolution (Jennifer Donnelly)

1Q84 (Haruki Murakami)

These were great books, but I didn't read anything that changed my life last year. I feel that both reading and music (see below) took a way back seat last year, and I would like to change that this year.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?

OK this might have to go under biggest failures of 2012 as well. I feel that I have been in a musical void for the last year. All my music has been on repeat since 2011. The ONLY thing I can say I heard that I had not heard before was Big Sam at Jazz Fest. He is smokin' hot, and his music makes me want to dance my face off. http://bigsamsfunkynation.com/

26. What did you want and get?

Nespresso machine (*angels singing*)

27. What did you want and not get?

Inner peace

 

28. What was your favorite film of this year?

Errrrr... i didn't see that many movies. I did really like "Moonrise Kingdom", and I saw "50/50", which I thought was really well done.

29. What did you do on your birthday?

I have no idea. I really don’t!

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Less poop. Sorry, but it’s really, really true. This is THE WORST PART OF PARENTING EVER. I hate it so much I want to stab myself in the eye with a fork everyday.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2012?

I finally started wearing grown-up clothes occasionally. I still spend a good portion of the week in gym clothes, but I finally started putting on actual clothes more often than not. It was kind of a big deal!

32. What kept you sane?

I’m not sure if I was sane last year. I’m trying for more of that this year. If I had to guess, what kept me barely sane was working out. At least I feel somewhat normal after I do that.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Joshua Jackson, no contest. Yeah, I’m pretty sure I had a few inappropriate dreams about him last year.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?

Well, the entire year has been overshadowed by the school shootings last month. So, right now I would have to say gun control.

35. Whom did you miss?

Everyone. all the time.

36. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2012.

It sounds so lame, but I guess the fact that life is short and unpredictable. I am finally beginning to understand that you absolutely must life inside each moment as it happens. This is extremely hard for me, but I think I finally get it.

We only have the time that is in front of us at any given moment, so we gotta make the most of it.

37. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

...I'll follow you into the park,
through the jungle, through the dark
I've never loved one like you
Moats & boats & waterfalls,
alley ways & pay phone calls,
I've been everywhere with you
Home

Let me come home
Home is wherever I'm with you...

 

New Year, New Attitude

Hello from New Year's Eve 2012. I haven't posted much lately, mostly because I have been in a big ole funk. I think that the honeymoon period of moving to such an exciting place is over, and the holiday blues set in big time around Thanksgiving. I've been sort of sulking and angry about not being able to attend family weddings, not being home for my mom's Christmas Eve pork roast, and generally feeling estranged and out of sorts here.

Cause here is the thing: Japan is definitely off the charts in terms of an exciting adventure, and we all know I love a good adventure. And I have always dreamed of traveling as a way of life. Since I can remember I envisioned seeing the world in the way the Navy allows us to do. (If you look up the term "wanderlust" you will probably see my picture next to the definition.)

BUT.

But...

At the end of the day, no matter where you live, you still have to go to the grocery store, do the dishes, make your kids go to bed, and wonder when your husband might work normal hours ever again. I don't know if I am just tired from dealing with 2 toddlers, or completely over the Navy's idea of what normal working hours are, or if I'm just getting older. Whatever it is, I am starting to see that settling down might be in my future for the first time in my life.

Don't get me wrong - I am loving giving the boys the opportunity to experience another culture, and I think the coping skills they are (hopefully) learning will be invaluable later. I am just realizing (slowly, of course) that life is so short, it's important to be around family - the ones you were born with as well as the ones you create along the way. On the other hand, we are here in Japan now, so I am going to start the new year off right and vow to make the very most of our time here.

SO, I am ringing in the new year with a new attitude. I am planning on taking advantage of every opportunity, and I am going to stop sulking about the ones I have missed, for whatever reason.

On that note, HAPPY 2013. I will be posting soon about a few day trips we are taking in the next few weeks. Meanwhile, enjoy the new year, wherever you are.

Just Read This Article

I'm feeling sort of blah tonight. Maybe it's the holiday blues; maybe it's because now that I'm settled here I fully understand that 14 - 17 time zones is a damn long way from all my friends and family; maybe it's that the true meaning of "sea duty" is slowly but surely beginning to reveal itself to me and the boys... whatever the reason, I just want to drink a hot toddy and crawl into bed.

However, I did find an article that sort of echos my "Old Vs. New" post from a few weeks ago. It's a list of things about Japan that might surprise you. It made me crack up, which felt good, and it also made me go, "Oh yeah!" Especially #2, which talks about the fact that you will probably always be an outsider here, even if you live here for many years and speak fluent Japanese. Not that I have been here long enough to have really experienced this --- but, one thing I have noticed is that there is no "blending in" here. I mean, in America, no matter what race you are people usually assume you are American unless you open your mouth and have an accent or speak a different language. In Europe it's the same - you can keep your mouth shut and sort of get by. Here, no ma'am. If you're black or white or brown, you are foreign. Enough so that people usually look at you once or twice or smile exxxxtra nicely at your kids. It has been something of interest to me since arriving.

Anyway, just read it, and don't forget to read all the captions under the photos cause that is what made me LOL the hardest:

http://www.cracked.com/article_20118_5-things-nobody-tells-you-about-living-in-japan.html

And don't forget to make yourself a hot toddy before you start reading (thanks for sharing the recipe, Eliza!):

http://www.shutterbean.com/2011/hot-toddy/

Japanksgiving!

I have never cooked a turkey before. Somehow, every year I manage to get out of it. In the past several years we have ordered turduckens from the Cajun Grocer, which arrive in the mail, deboned, seasoned, and stuffed, so all you have to do is throw them in the oven for 3 hours. That doesn't count! Otherwise I've always been at my mom's or at someone else's house where I wasn't in charge of the turkey.

I've also never made stuffing. I sort of hate stuffing and don't understand its purpose. I assume it was first created when people had to do something with their leftover stale bread and the parts of the turkey no one wanted to eat? But nowadays if you google "stuffing", you get more than 50 varieties to choose from. Just varieties! The individual recipes are endless!

So this year we are far, far away from home where the Cajun Grocer doesn't ship. Fortunately, we were really lucky and were invited to our new friends' house for Thanksgiving, so I was able to have the Thanksgiving I am used to and love - the one where I don't have the pressure of the turkey! They fried a turkey, which was aaaawwwweesome!

 
They also made macaroni & cheese, green bean casserole, a ham, cheesecake, the works! I was only in charge of the sweet potato casserole and the pecan pie. Those, I can handle. Except for the tiny part where I forgot that I live in a foreign country and that the commissary is somewhat lacking, even on the best of days... Here is a list of what the commissary was out of the Sunday before Thanksgiving:

butter
brown sugar
karo syrup
sweet potatoes
pie crusts (I don't make my own - I use those roll-put ones in the refrigerated section)

Butter?! This is not good, people. I tried to get butter at our local Japanese store - no dice. All of the options there were salted (a no-no in baking, apparently). They did have the brown sugar, so that was good. Karo syrup - yeah, right. The sweet potatoes I ended up finding at Costco, but they were the Japanese sweet potatoes - a different texture, and also sort of yellow, rather than orange.

Pie crusts, I resigned myself to making my own, if only I could find the damn BUTTER! I went back to the commissary on Tuesday of that week. I asked a man who looked like he was in charge if there might possibly be any butter in the back? He went to the back and was gone for what seemed like 20 years. He came back with one small brown box filled with about 10 lonely pounds of unsalted butter! I took 4 immediately. Karo syrup was still a no-go, so that I had to do without.

Back to the kitchen, where my oven is the size of a shoe box: between the toaster oven and the tiny oven I managed to make the pie and casserole. The pie had no karo in it, and the crust was crumbly, but it was edible. The casserole was actually pretty good! Different texture, but the taste of those Japanese sweet potatoes was not bad at all. And most importantly, it was a great day, one that reminded me that no matter how far from home I am, good people can make a holiday great. We were very thankful to have new friends that day.

 
However! We also had a visitor coming for the weekend and another Thanksgiving to get ready for! Adam's cousin, who lives in Japan, was scheduled to arrive on Friday and stay for the weekend, and I thought it would be great if we could have Thanksgiving while she was here. She has lived in Japan for 4 years and hasn't had a proper Thanksgiving the entire time she has been here. This meant, of course, that I was going to have to cook a turkey. NOOOOOO!

I decided to face this head on and look up recipes on Food Network. (Sorry, Ross!) I found one that seemed relatively straight-forward. I was going to have to brine it, but I've heard about brining for the last several years and figured I could handle it. Except.... Hmmm, where to store the brining turkey since the refrigerator is about half the size of regular refrigerators and is now crammed with butter, among other things? I ended up going with the cooler on the balcony, hoping that it would be cold enough outside to keep the turkey from rising above the dreaded 40 degrees.

Next up, apparently I have to remove the "gizzards" from the inside of the turkey? This was revealed to me during a skype conversation with my parents while the brining was going on. Not what I expected, but what the hell? Did that with a plastic bag tied around my hand/arm. Then I did the toaster oven / tiny oven dance for apple pie, pecan pie, and the sweet potato casserole. That worked out ok. Then, finally I had to try to shove the turkey into the tiny oven. It fit, barely!

And finally I attempt the stuffing. I decided to go with the sausage and leek variety. I had no idea what I was doing; just winging it with stale bread and a lot of sausage. That went into the tiny oven after the turkey came out. Green beans sauteed in a pan and voila, turkey day, Japan style, part 2, is served.

Not so bad considering all the road blocks involved! And entertaining all around!

Thanks for being guinea pigs, Adam and Kayla! (Please note the look of fear on Adam's face.)

The De-Casualization of My Wardrobe

I am a casual girl. This is a well-known fact. Growing up, I used to drive my mother insane with what I wore, or didn't wear. I remember clearly going shopping before starting high school at Baton Rouge High, where, for the first time in my life, I would not be wearing a uniform to school everyday. I wanted to buy 5 different pairs of jeans and a million T-shirts, while my mom wanted me to wear skirts and blouses. In college I wore flannel shirts and hiking boots. While my mom still thinks it is important to dress up when flying on an airplane, I want to wear my PJ's; while she never leaves the house without make-up, I barely know how to apply it. You get the point.

I did manage to step it up when I moved to New York because it just wouldn't DO to go to work there without a "put together" ensemble. Even dressing down is a studied art in New York; being casual is, in fact, much more difficult than dressing up there because you have to make sure it looks thrown together yet completely trendy and cute all at once. Still, even after living there for 7 years and working on it a bit, I am far from what you would call a "fashionable" person. Every now and then I stumble upon a look that works for me, and I wear it for about 10 years. I do have a few cute pieces, but again, this is mostly by accident. My closet is spare and mostly contains black or neutrals. (Another no-no in my mom's opinion!) There is also no middle ground: I have about 10 cocktail and ball dresses, about 1 million pairs of gym shorts, and nothing in between.

Living in Hawaii and Washington State did NOTHING to help this. In the former, flip flops were considered high fashion, and in the latter the temperature never got high enough to consider taking off my sweatshirt. In addition, trying to cram in going to the gym and taking care of the tiny terrors everyday meant that I mostly never made it out of my gym clothes, for real.

While it never seemed to present much of a problem in life considering the fact that it's all pretty casual in the states, this summer I had a bit of a talk with myself about this. I felt that at the age of 37 I should probably start leaving the house looking like a grown up more often. A friend took pity on me and took me shopping to pick out some staples that were more coordinated and polished than anything I usually wear. I felt a little bit like I was on "What Not To Wear" and came away with some things that coordinated and could be changed with an accessory or two. Yippee!

Anyway, it turns out this was a really good idea because MAN do people dress up here! I definitely feel like I'm back in NYC again. People do not just go out in gym clothes here. In fact, even on base there are signs up all over the place saying that you can't go into the commissary or the NEX in gym clothes. And when I go to the boys' bus stop at 8 AM, all the Japanese moms look like they have stepped right out of the H&M catalog. Even with all the new clothes I bought this summer, I have still frantically been online shopping during the last month for fake uggs, puffy vests, cute rain boots, scarves, and other stuff so that I can feel at least somewhat "with it" leaving the house. I secretly plan in advance what I will "throw on" in the morning before taking the boys to the bus stop. I am so sure.

Anyway, I guess my realization that I need to step it up a notch came at a good time! And boy would my mom be proud.

Gratuitous Food and Shopping Post No. 2

Technically this should be called "Gratuitous Food Shopping Post" because we're going to the grocery store! But whatever, it can go under the "Food and Shopping" category.

This is our local grocery store:

I took that picture from our balcony. The store is just over the canal right behind our house. It makes for great people watching. (And I'm sure the people I am watching are watching us back since the boys like to run around in underwear on the balcony.)

Anyway, it's small, but it is just as delightful as the other grocery stores I have been to around here. Of course everything is written in Japanese on the packaging, but thanks to translation apps on my phone and lots of pictures, I can usually figure out what I'm looking at.

Here are things I miss about grocery shopping in the states: big aisles to push your stroller or cart down, Whole Foods, variety of choices, Target.

Here are the fun things you can find in the grocery store in Japan:

Sake. Lots of sake:

A lot of fish:

Gyoza (!):

Thinly sliced beef so you can try to make those sesame beef bowls. (It's better if you just get it cooked already at the convenience store, but worth a try!):

Here are new products from the Japanese grocery store that we LOVE:

Rice crackers - these are sweet and salty all at once, and the boys love to take them in their lunches to school. Note: you can also get these at the 100yen store, but in smaller amounts:

Chu-hi. Sparkling, not too sweet, fruity alcoholic goodness. Comes in all flavors depending on season. Right now I'm loving the lemon and lime. Watch out for the "strong" chu-hi - it's got 8% alcohol!

Canned coffee. These are really popular in vending machines. Note: vending machines come with "hot" and "cold" sections, and you can get the canned coffee in either version. Adam likes to get these by the case and take them to work with him:

And here are things that I'm slightly disturbed by:

Why are the eggs kept outside of the refrigerated section?

These, in general:

I have heard from many people that they are delicious, but I can't get on board yet!

And no trip to the grocery store would be complete without a trip down the sweets aisle:

The ice cream here is also really cool. Not only are there really interesting flavors:

But even the familiar brands have a twist: these haagen-daaz come in tiny 1/2 cup servings. So cute, and convenient! Please note that this particular box of flavors is called "Lover's Collection." LOL!

And that concludes our tour of the local grocery store. It's completely fun everytime we go! Even the boys don't mind shopping when they know they can get the rice crackers at the end of the journey. YAY!