Confessions of an American in Japan

First of all, we recently had a lovely weekend in Tokyo. We were able to get a room at the New Sanno Hotel, which is the military hotel right in the middle of Tokyo. Being in the military is damn hard sometimes, but the perks are definitely great, when you can get around to using them. Free parking, $70 a night for the room, a pool, hot tub, and a ridiculous brunch on Sunday = SCORE! So we drove (!) to the big city early on Saturday and took the boys to the zoo, stopping along the way to watch street music, eat ice cream, and generally enjoy the sunshine:

Then, after we all spent way too much time in the pool, we used the babysitting service at the hotel (another bonus!) so that Adam and I could go out to gorge ourselves on yakitori and ridiculous cocktails:

Driving back the next day was tough because it was the beginning of Golden Week here in Japan. That is probably the biggest national holiday in the country. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Golden_Week_%28Japan%29 So driving 45 miles took about 3.5 hours. YAY! Totally worth it, though. It was the first time we have gotten to spend a weekend doing something touristy in a long time.

Next, my confession... I really don't like Japanese sushi. I like American sushi! I really enjoy Japanese food in general, and the Japanese know how to cook - as with everything here, since it is a country of perfectionists and extreme personal pride in work, food is done really, really well, no matter what the cuisine. However, I really love American style rolls. Here, sushi is... just sushi. Don't get me wrong, I love a good piece of yellowtail or salmon, but I don't want a full plate of sashimi with no rolls to break it up.

So, anyway, Adam took me out to dinner this weekend for Mother's Day. We went to a place called Fisherman's Restaurant. We live right by the beach, so we thought this would be a great place to get some seafood. And it was.... just, not what we were expecting. First, we ordered what we thought was an appetizer. The menu said it was baked yellowtail, and it was in the lower priced portion of the menu. Well, what came out was the size of my head, giant portion of fish on a giant bone. Witness:

Then, Adam ordered the "sushi platter." Platter is an understatement! Here is what came out:

Most importantly, this was on it:

Really? We still don't know what it was. Adam ate it (braver man that I), but WOW. Give me a crunchy roll and call me a lazy American, I guess.

Modeling

If you have ever been to Japan (or seen Lost in Translation), you know that modeling here is completely different than in the states. Actually, that has been changing somewhat in recent years, now that I think about it. More and more movie stars in America are modeling for commercial products like they have done in Japan for many years. However, even though US celebrities are starting to do more commercial modeling, not all of them would do the same kinds of ads that they will do here...

Heeeey, Tommy Lee Jones on a billboard for canned coffee:

 
Anyway, what is still different in Japan is that normal people can often be in national ad campaigns here - not everyone on TV or in print looks like supermodels here... because they aren't! If you are western, you are in demand here, no matter what you look like. To that end, on base every spring and fall there is a Modeling Fair, where all the agencies from Tokyo come and take pictures of you and your kids to see if there might be a place for you in ads. You can make really good money doing this, so of course a lot of people get involved in this.

I took the boys to the modeling fair in the Fall - it was a complete mad house, and the boys did not cooperate well. I didn't expect to hear anything and haven't... until recently. I just found out that Anthony might have his first audition for a stroller company's catalog! They originally asked about both boys, but Jackson is too tall for their height requirements. So, hopefully Anthony will elbow out the competition and become the next superstar of Japan. First he has to pass the photo selection. If that happens, we have to go to Tokyo for the audition.

The chances of this are small, but it is fun to think about, and it could be really fun if he actually gets it!

Cherry Blossoms!

Just a quick post to say that everything you have heard about the cherry blossoms here is true. The Japanese LOVE their cherry blossoms and go out in packs every year to see them, drink a lot, and generally enjoy the beautiful weather.

We went to two different locations last weekend, and it really was magnificent. Quite a hike to get to each place, but totally worth it!

First location: Miura-Kaigan - took about one million years to get there by train. Fortunately the boys were troopers and had a good time:

Second location: Taura. Shorter train ride, but extremely steep climb. Got to go through a bamboo forest first, which was lovely, and then the grove was beautiful. The boys did great again, but that night as he was getting into bed, Anthony said, "I don't think I want to go see cherry blossoms tomorrow." LOL!!!

Japanese People are Helpful

So Adam departed yesterday for about a month at sea. To non-military people this sounds like a long time. To military people this doesn't even count as a deployment. This pales in comparison to the 9 months my friend went without her mate last year. Or the 15 months army spouses have routinely endured since 2003. Oy. However, it's the first one for me, so it is kind of a big deal, at least in my own head. It also marks the beginning of an almost nonstop in-and-out path Adam's ship will take over the next 6 months. The longest he will be gone at a time is 3 months, but prior to that there are 2 one-monthers with little time between.

ANYWAY, I have been dreading this for obvious reasons. I am terribly sad that he is gone, and I am also overwhelmed by the prospect of being the only parent in this house for that long. I spent part of yesterday crying and feeling sorry for myself. (Especially during my work-out group when I was cleaning up a pee accident with one kid while the other one apparently touched a girl's crotch as soon as my back was turned. Nice.)

However, I have also been looking forward to it in a way, and here's why: first, once they leave, you can go ahead and start counting down the days till they get back. Prior to that, it's all counting down till they leave, which is depressing. At least after they go you have something to look forward to. Also, the laundry gets cut in half! And I don't have to cook everyday, praise the lord! I guess what I am saying is that if I have to do it I better just go ahead and look at the bright side.

But, back to the last 2 days. OK, so yesterday I spent being mad, so this morning I decided to try to be a little more positive. First thing I did was take the kids outside to the beach to fly a kite I just bought on Amazon for them. We have seen a bunch of kids and parents flying kites on the beach, and I thought that would be something great I could do with the boys. Also, being outside wears them out, which is pretty much my goal for each and everyday of my life right now.

FAIL!

I guess the fact that the kite was $10 should have warned me, but I thought I was getting a deal so I plowed forward with my online order feeling smug that I have Amazon Prime and can get free shipping. (Thank you, mom April!) (Side note: Amazon is pretty much the best thing since sliced bread for me here. Whenever I can't find something at the commissary or I need something for the kids I can't find at the NEX or in town - Amazon. It has everything, and I don't pay for shipping. Rock.)

Long story short the kite would sort of flail around for a minute and then nose dive right away. I kept thinking I just needed to throw it higher or run faster right away, but no. Anthony kept saying, "We need dad to do this." To which I responded, "Yep." But kept trying anyway.

Finally, after about a dozen attempts, I noticed a Japanese man with a cute dog sort of lurking around the perimeter of where we were flailing about. He clearly knew what needed to be done, but I am sure he was afraid he might get hit with a kite or a flying limb. Finally, he came over and basically took the kite out of my hand and started doing stuff to the string and hooks and things.

He tried really hard to make it work, but he only partially succeeded.

Of course he pat the boys on the head and kindly said he was sorry he couldn't help. The boys bowed properly, and we all said, "Arigato" politely. And we did try a few more times after he left, but to no avail. Mostly I was just happy someone was kind enough to try to help, especially because we looked like lunatics doing interpretive dances all over the beach before he arrived.

Japanese people are really helpful in that way. If they see you looking lost they will come right up to you and offer assistance. I have also seen a lot of youngish kids walking grandmothers across the street, which is just sweet. It's reassuring. I feel like, even though I only know a few of my neighbors I could definitely ask them for help if I needed it. So, there's that.

Anyway, cheers to getting the first part of deployments over with!

I Took a Cooking Class. And a Bus!

One of the great resources for me here is a group of Japanese women who have married American sailors stationed here. Apparently this happens with some frequency, so yay for me! People who can answer my endless questions!

One of these women started a facebook group called "Saori's Kitchen." Not only does she post all kinds of useful info about shopping for ingredients here when you can't read the label, but she also hosts cooking classes in her house. I signed up for Shabu Shabu and got to to take that last week.

Shabu Shabu is basically "hot pot." You set up a communal pot of boiling broth in the middle of your table and everyone cooks their own veggies and meats in it. Then you have dipping sauces for when you dig all your stuff out of the pot. I have experienced Shabu Shabu before, but it was the Taiwanese version - basically just boiling water, rather than a broth to start; and shellfish were included. This Japanese version used only pork for the protein, and you have to make the broth ahead of time.

Veggies & Broth

 Dipping Sauces

Ingredients! Now I know what I am looking for when I go to the store!

 
After we had stuffed ourselves she brought out some homemade green tea mousse of some kind with a cherry blossom on top. Hello, pretty. And yum!

Next up: I decided to brave the BUS. OK, so the train system, while confusing at first, is not too hard to get the hang of. The trains are all very reliable, on-time, the signs usually have a Romanji section (Japanese words spelled out phonetically using western letters, rather than the Kanji or Kana, their written language), and announcements are occasionally in English. So if you have time to scrutinize the signs, and you have a good map, eventually you can probably figure out where you are going.

The bus, on the other hand, is something entirely different. First, there is nothing in English, which is to be expected. But there isn't even Romanji. There is only Kanji. Second, the signs are confusing, so even if you can figure out the Kanji you are looking for, you also have to figure out how they are telling you what time the bus will be arriving. (I finally learned that the weekday times are on the left and the weekend times are on the right. Unless there is a holiday listed. Then the weekend times are in the middle and the holidays are on the right. See? Confusing.)

 
Third, and probably most important, the bus is NOT on time. I didn't know this when I set out last Saturday in the rain to try to go to the boys' preschool for the "Art Festival." I figured the buses would be like everything else in Japan - precise, user-friendly, and on-time! Wrong.

Anyway, the school isn't far from where we live. It is about halfway between our house and the naval base on the same road going to the naval base. I have driven by it a million times. When the school sent home a note last week saying that there would be no parking at the school for the art festival, I thought, "OK, no prob. I am just going to take the bus I have seen go down that street before. I haven't taken the bus before, but surely I can figure it out."

Nonetheless, the night before the art festival I looked up all the info I could find about taking the bus:
http://www.japan-guide.com/e/e2015.html
The fact that that web page exists should tell you something about how complicated the bus is!

I studied that carefully. I also used my google maps app and figured out which exact bus I should take - it even shows you the Kanji so you can double-check the signs - and what time it would depart the bus stop. The boys and I set out in our rain gear to the bus stop. They were very stalwart and didn't complain.

We got to the bus stop and waited around for awhile. About 1 minute after the appointed time the bus should have been there, a bus came to the stop. I was so excited, and, assuming it was like the trains, I didn't even really check the Kanji. I just hopped on. Mistake! Then, when the boys and I were seated, I realized the number on the bus didn't match what I had in my maps app on my phone. You know where this is going... after two stops and showing my phone to the person next to me, I realized we were on the wrong bus. OK, boys, let's get out of this one!

Long story short we ended up at another bus stop and found the correct bus, but it arrived about 10 minutes later than the sign said it should have gotten there, etc. Yadda yadda yadda, an hour and a half after we orignally left the house and we finally made it to the school (a 15 minute drive from the house, by the way.)

And I got to see these AMAZING art projects made by the tiny terrors:

You will be pleased to know that I got on the correct bus to go home and made it in 20 minutes. Take that, bus system of Japan!

This is the wrong bus:

Anthony, on the wrong bus, asking the universe why his mom is such a dumb ass:

Side note: since making this trek, I found these 2 other pages devoted to riding the bus in Japan:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qEO32tc323o
http://www.survivingnjapan.com/2010/09/how-to-find-bus-timesschedule-online.html

I am so sure.

Presents! Among Other Things

This is actually sort of a catch-up post for the last few months. We have had a chance to explore our neighborhood a little more and also do some sight-seeing.

First up, PRESENTS. OK, so I was definitely baffled in our orientation class by all the ritual that goes along with present-giving here. It seemed frightfully easy to become involved in an endless back-and-forth present-giving game, so I tried really hard to understand the rules. I brought presents to the neighbors when we moved in, but I made sure they weren't too big - just some chocolates I got at the NEX. That seemed to go over well. Some of the neighbors gave us small things back, but also not a big deal. I didn't think I needed to reciprocate again. Some of the neighbors have also given the boys gifts from time to time, but I feel that is not something I have to give something back for. They are usually things like fruit that is in season or candy on Halloween...

So anyway, I thought I had sort of reached a place of stasis so that I could just say "hi" to the neighbors and not worry about it. But lately weird things have been happening! I am at a complete loss again!!!

For starters, one of the neighbors randomly hands us canned coffee from the vending machine now and then. This is a vending machine that is at the end of our driveway, so I can get to it quite easily. But now and then I will walk out of my house and she will walk up and hand me 2 or 3 cans. OK?

Then, a few weeks ago, Adam and I decided to try the sushi place next door to us. The place was empty, which was weird (we were wondering if it might be a front for the Yakuza), but we had some great sushi:

After we ate, the chef/owners, a husband and wife, tried to talk to us a bit. They spoke no English, so we were using our best (awful) Japanese and our translator apps on our phones. It was amicable, and we were all getting our points across in one way or another. All of a sudden, as we are talking, the wife starts bringing us things. She even brought a nice bag out and loaded it up for us. Here is what we walked out with:

Um, bacon?

And some kind of pound cake with red beans on the bottom. But it wasn't just a pound cake. It was wrapped up in a pretty box that took about an hour to get into:

What in the world? We had no idea what to do. We actually left before we intended to because we were afraid if we stayed any longer she would start giving us more and more gifts.

Anyway, that has been a conundrum lately. I guess we should start giving out presents again. Then maybe we will be in the clear for awhile? Who knows! The whole thing has become a bit strange!

Next up, some sight-seeing. We got to go on a day trip to Hakone, which is a mountain area with natural hot springs. Japanese people looooove their hot springs, and now I know why. It can be SO cold here, and none of the houses are heated. Well, none of them have insulation, and they use space heaters and kerosene heaters to heat one room at a time, but it is seriously cold. All the time. Now I understand the draw of sitting in boiling hot water for long periods of time in the dead of winter. It's a chance to warm up, finally! Anyway, we want to go back when we can stay in one of the hotels and do the full-on baths, but this was just a short outing so there was some feet-dipping, but nothing more.

I will spare you most of the pretty mountain photos, but what you should see is this: the hot springs there are hot enough to boil eggs, but the eggs turn black because of the minerals in the water. Supposedly you will add 7 years to your life if you eat one, so of course we had to do just that. It was pretty special:

OK, maybe just one pretty mountain shot with hot springs steaming up. This really was a beautiful area of Japan, and I hope to be able to go back:

And here are the 4 of us, freezing our butts off, about to go look at a shrine:

Year in Review

This post has nothing to do with living in Japan! It's my year in review. I decided to take stock in survey form, so here it is. Enjoy or skip it!

1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?

Moved to Japan

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

Yes and no. I resolved to stop biting my nails, as usual. FAIL! (I really don’t think I will ever kick this habit. Do we even need to talk about the fact that Anthony already bites his? OY.) (Also, I am currently biting my nails as I write this, even though I vowed again to stop this year. Yeah.) However, I also resolved to stop being a doormat, once and for all, and I think I succeeded. I must admit that part of my strategy involves being evasive and passive-aggressive, but it’s better than getting sucked into other people's drama and bossiness.

3. Did anyone close to you become a parent?

No, but Ross is going to become one this year, and that makes me excited and also want to die simultaneously.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No.

5. What countries did you visit?

Canada, although that hardly counts. And Japan, extended visit!

However, I also got to travel a ton this year, all of which was amazing. Road trip from Washington to Louisiana, a weekend trip to San Francisco, and a crazy excursion to Lummi Island, Washington, in April, where we got to stay in a ridiculous hotel and eat the most amazing meal I've ever had. http://www.willows-inn.com/

6. What would you like to have in 2013 that you lacked in 2012?

Day-to-day stability.

7. What dates from 2012 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

The day we left Oak Harbor (June 22); the day we left Baton Rouge (September 7); December 14th.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Keeping my shit together for a month in the Navy Lodge. That doesn’t sound like much when I see it there, written down, but it was hard.

9. What was your biggest failure?

I feel like I failed left and right at parenting last year. Disaster, from start to finish. My kids are lunatics, and I'm pretty sure it's my fault. Yay, mommyhood!

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

No.

11. What were the best things you bought?

Rain boots, nespresso machine

12. Whose behavior warranted celebration?

A friend who has been dealt a shitty hand of cards but is handling it with grace and humor.

 

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Young navy sailors who do stupid shit in Japan that make us all have curfews and not be allowed to drink after 8 PM outside of our homes. Get your shit together, people!

14. Where did most of your money go?

I honestly think most of it went towards all the traveling and moving, which is just sort of to be expected.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Finally, at long last, moving into our place here in Japan after months and months of upheaval.

16. What song will always remind you of 2012?

"Home" (Edward Sharpe) - I know this didn't come out on 2012, but it has definitely been on repeat for me during this massive move.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

a) happier or sadder? happier

b) thinner or fatter? thinner (but not by much... working on it)

c) richer or poorer? same

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Spending time by myself

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Caring what people think

20. How did you spend Christmas?

With immediate family at home. It was great because Adam was off for 3 days in a row. A lovely, do-nothing kind of weekend.

21. Did you fall in love in 2011?

No. Unless you count Joshua Jackson on Fringe. AGG!

22. What was your favorite TV program?

Fringe (WHY WHY WHY is it ending?! I am already depressed about this!)

Last Resort (don’t judge me)

Parks and Recreation (still amazingly funny)

So You Think You Can Dance (yesterday, today, and tomorrow)

24. What was the best book you read?

The Wednesday Wars (Gary D. Schmidt)

Revolution (Jennifer Donnelly)

1Q84 (Haruki Murakami)

These were great books, but I didn't read anything that changed my life last year. I feel that both reading and music (see below) took a way back seat last year, and I would like to change that this year.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?

OK this might have to go under biggest failures of 2012 as well. I feel that I have been in a musical void for the last year. All my music has been on repeat since 2011. The ONLY thing I can say I heard that I had not heard before was Big Sam at Jazz Fest. He is smokin' hot, and his music makes me want to dance my face off. http://bigsamsfunkynation.com/

26. What did you want and get?

Nespresso machine (*angels singing*)

27. What did you want and not get?

Inner peace

 

28. What was your favorite film of this year?

Errrrr... i didn't see that many movies. I did really like "Moonrise Kingdom", and I saw "50/50", which I thought was really well done.

29. What did you do on your birthday?

I have no idea. I really don’t!

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Less poop. Sorry, but it’s really, really true. This is THE WORST PART OF PARENTING EVER. I hate it so much I want to stab myself in the eye with a fork everyday.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2012?

I finally started wearing grown-up clothes occasionally. I still spend a good portion of the week in gym clothes, but I finally started putting on actual clothes more often than not. It was kind of a big deal!

32. What kept you sane?

I’m not sure if I was sane last year. I’m trying for more of that this year. If I had to guess, what kept me barely sane was working out. At least I feel somewhat normal after I do that.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Joshua Jackson, no contest. Yeah, I’m pretty sure I had a few inappropriate dreams about him last year.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?

Well, the entire year has been overshadowed by the school shootings last month. So, right now I would have to say gun control.

35. Whom did you miss?

Everyone. all the time.

36. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2012.

It sounds so lame, but I guess the fact that life is short and unpredictable. I am finally beginning to understand that you absolutely must life inside each moment as it happens. This is extremely hard for me, but I think I finally get it.

We only have the time that is in front of us at any given moment, so we gotta make the most of it.

37. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

...I'll follow you into the park,
through the jungle, through the dark
I've never loved one like you
Moats & boats & waterfalls,
alley ways & pay phone calls,
I've been everywhere with you
Home

Let me come home
Home is wherever I'm with you...